You can feel her.
The woman who exists on the other side of fear.
Sometimes you even are her: the woman who believes in herself.
The woman who can speak her truth. Trust herself. And ask for what she needs.
The woman who knows exactly what she wants and has the guts to go for it.
The woman who isn’t preoccupied with what other people think or doesn’t get triggered so easily in relationship.
The woman who feels solid and secure in herself - and doesn’t leave herself to make other people comfortable.
But then just like that, she falls away.
The doubt creeps back in and the distance between you and what you really want only seems to widen.
Your old patterns take over and take you down - again and again.
It’s easy to feel hopeless. It’s easy to be overcome by the despair. It’s easy to draw your energy back and stay really small.
And really, really stuck.
This, my friends, is what I call the spiral.
The question-everything-I-feel and every-part-of-my-life spiral.
Doesn’t take much sometimes and down the hole we go.
One minute, you know you can trust yourself.
You know you are brilliant and beautiful and worth every single thing you desire and the next minute,
You’re dust. You’re doomed. You are failure personified.
Are you sick of it yet? Are you ready to make it stop?
Would you rather live your life from an empowered, confident place?
Fully embodying the woman you know you are meant to be?
Would you like to put to rest the doubts, the guilt, the uncertainty and bring yourself more authentically - more powerfully - to your relationships, your life, and your career?
Are you ready align all of your energy with what is most true and most desired and start living your life heading solely in that direction - leading with your instinct, your heart, and your true self?
RAISE YOUR HAND IF THIS IS YOU...
You are in your head all of the time - questioning your decisions, doubting whether your desires are realistic, preoccupied with unavailable partners, triggered and ambivalent in your relationship/marriage, worried constantly about your kids (not wanting to mess them up), overcome with stress and anxiety, and dissatisfied with your career. And let’s face it - it’s terrifying to face all of this, to say it out loud, and really put it on the table to deal with it.
It’s easy to for people to get in your head. Your sense of security and self-esteem almost lives outside of yourself….reliant on how other people react or approve….rather than rooted deeply in yourself.
You hold back all the time. You don’t say how you really feel. You don’t ask for what you really need. And you don’t trust yourself enough to make the decisions that really live on your heart.
You feel so preoccupied with what other people will think that it’s hard to stay focused on your truth and stand by your instincts. It can be hard to stand up for yourself in the face of “logic” and “rational thinking” and you’re tired of defending and explaining yourself all the time.
You’re tired of being the woman that puts her heart and soul into everything - yet never gets what she really wants in return.
You’re tired of not knowing what you want! Your life feels like it lacks clarity, direction, or deep fulfillment and you are craving something deeper.
You worry as the years pass by that you won’t have the partner, the family, the bank account, the relationship you really want with your daughter, or the deeper purpose that you long for.
You don’t know why you haven’t been able to build real traction with someone. You can’t get a relationship to stick. Or you may not know how to stop spinning in the relationships you have. Ambivalence in marriage is never really talked about - we talk about it.
You start to wonder if something is wrong with you. Will you be floundering forever? A failure at this thing called life? Will you ever actually “heal”?
You would love to trust yourself more. To take more risks and put yourself out there. To finally believe in yourself - enough to make hard decisions, stand your ground, speak your truth, and take real risks.
To be more bold, more honest, and change the way you show up in your relationships from the jump.
And while we are at it, to also change those troubling dynamics in your family that keep you feeling guilty and trapped and responsible.
But how do you know which impulse to follow? How do you know which feelings you can trust?
That’s why I’m here.
After 15+ years of being a therapist, I have recognized some things that hold my clients back from expediting the transformation they seek.
From embodying the woman they know they are meant to be.
I decided to take the leap.
To radically change the way I help people.
I want to deliver the most powerful aspects of what helps people change in a more a condensed, direct way.
I want to support you in making concrete daily progress in your life and relationships now - not just in 1:1 calls - but in-between calls - as that is when most of us slide back into our old patterns.
Wherever you feel stuck, I want to help you break through. I help you step into the next version of yourself and your relationship that you know is possible.
Not after years in therapy. Now.
How I Work
When I look back on what has most significantly changed me in my own life, it is this:
Building Emotional Capacity + Resilience
Part of what is essential to healing and self-transformation is learning how to feel our feelings. We tend to push them down, avoid them, and bury them under mounds of stress, anxiety, and busy-ness - because let’s be honest and compassionate with ourselves: feelings can be painful, confusing and overwhelming. There often isn’t time to even notice what we are feeling - and when we try, it can feel even more anxiety-producing and overwhelming. We don’t want to tumble down a hole of grief or despair especially when we don’t understand it! Yet allowing what is within you to be known, felt, understood, and released is part of what facilitates true transformation. Nothing has changed me more than getting in touch with my own feelings - and how I experience them in-the-moment, in my body because without that awareness, I couldn’t actually soothe them, mindfully express them, or take responsibility for them. Relating differently to my emotions, peeling back layers of unconscious anxiety, and not being afraid to feel my grief has been huge in my own personal transformation.
Feeling Safe, Seen, and Supported in Relationship
The second piece is the relationship. How many of us feel truly seen in our relationships? How many of us feel heard in our relationships? How many of us feel affirmed and strengthened by others when we share ourselves with them (rather than doubted, questioned, minimized, or dismissed)? Having the honest and unconditionally supportive reflection of a trusted other helps you see yourself in a new way. It helps you counter all those negative stories and beliefs you have about yourself that are keeping you stuck, weighed down, and spiraling.
Integrating the New Beliefs + Wiring in the New State of Being
And finally, what I feel is the most transformational is mindset and the embodied practice of really integrating new beliefs and new states of being within ourselves. So not just identifying a new belief - but actually feeling and embodying and acting from that new belief. This is a daily practice. Our anxiety, our preoccupations, our fears, our hectic, busy lives will make it easy for us to fall back into old patterns, old distractions, old stories. This is why I believe it is important to be focused in our work - whether it be on the patterns you are wanting to interrupt, on the feelings you are learning how to feel and soothe, or the ways you are wanting to put your truth into action in your daily life and relationships.
What Type of Service Will Work Best For You
Therapy:
Therapy is a gradual, beautiful unfolding of the self. It is a process of accessing painful parts of your lived experience, working through the self-protection that keeps you from the connection you most crave, and building deeper trust within yourself and in relationship. Whether we work together 2x/month or weekly, the work we do together will be deeply supportive and attuned to the pace that feels most safe for you. If you have never been to therapy and you know it’s time to unpack your life experiences, therapy is the sacred space that will most likely be best for you. We can decide the type of container that will work best for you - one that is focused, with a more short-term goal or one that offers a soft place to land on a regular basis. (Note: Once we become therapy clients, we cannot enter a coaching relationship.)
Coaching:
You don’t feel like you need the 1:1 deep-dive sessions as much as you would like in-your-pocket support that delivers on insight and the mindset shifts that bring you back to center. You can sense that the kind of change you are wanting to make will be most supported by having someone in your corner, actually encouraging you in the moment, actually affirming you and building you up, being the voice you need to hear, and holding your hand while you integrate the new beliefs and do the hard thing or say the hard things again and again.