Helping mothers and daughters rebuild their relationship.
You’re both hurting.
You don’t feel like you are being heard.
Mom feels like she is being constantly rejected or blamed. She’s not feeling cared for. But she is also trying her best. She doesn’t know how to do it any differently. She feels like she is walking on egg shells. This is not how their relationship used to be. She feels like she doesn’t know how to mother an adult daughter. What she hears is the word “boundary” but what she feels is the distance.
Daughter is frustrated. Years of not feeling understood has built up a wall. She doesn’t know how to help her mother understand what she needs. She feels guilty that she isn’t able to meet her mother’s needs. She tries to communicate but doesn’t feel like her mother listens or changes. She would like a closer relationship with her mother but doesn’t know how to make that happen.
The reality is that generational patterns set mothers and daughters up for conflict.
Where both women feel like they have to fight for who gets to be heard and who gets their needs met.
But your relationship can actually be a mutually affirming one, where both of you are heard and understood.
All you need is the time and space to really learn about each other and to practice the communication skills that support your relationship.
How It Works
I provide a 3-month therapeutic experience for mothers and daughters to strengthen their connection, deepen their understanding, and find authentic closeness again in their relationship. In this safe, supportive space, we will spend time repairing key events in your relationship - what wasn’t heard, what was hurtful - while identifying what you need now in your relationship. You will each learn to develop the skills necessary for each of you to feel more heard, understood, and respected.
We begin with 1x mother/daughter session to assess what is happening in your relationship and what is possibly causing conflict. We will assess whether we are a good fit in working together and if couples or individual work is the best fit for you.
I am vey intentional in offering this work as a container rather than open-ended sessions. I believe a focused, committed container lends itself to transformation. What we focus on changes. What I have noticed, from years of experience, is that open-ended sessions (with no end-date in mind) can dilute the intention and focus of the work. Time tends to be wasted. Mothers and daughters have learned to live without each other and this habit easily continues without focused work. I would rather our time together be intentional, focused, consistent, and potent.
How I Help
I help you both start to really hear each other and understand each other from a new perspective. If relevant, we will map out the generational patterns around emotional neglect, unspoken needs, and suppressed emotions as it relates to the women in your family lineage and the men in their lives. We explore how these patterns contribute to your mother/daughter conflict so as to soften the lens from which you both view yourselves and each other.
This is not about taking the long walk of shame - although it might be a painful journey at times. It’s about learning. It’s about learning how to listen and learning how to respond in a new way with a new language. I have a lot of compassion for the new emotional language mothers are being asked to learn in order to meet the emotional needs of their daughter. I help you learn this language.
I help you both get better at feeling for our work together is about reconnecting - and you both have to be emotionally available for that. This takes safety, reassurance, trust, and time. It also takes courage. I have a lot of compassion for the daughter who must learn how to open again to a relationship with her mother.
I help you both get clear about what you are wanting and needing from this relationship. Not just from the “boundary” perspective (the who-am-I-separate-from-you perspective) but from the place where you are forever connected and desire an authentic relationship.
I consider myself a midwife of tenderness. Tenderness is at the core of all of us and central to our authenticity. I help each of you get more connected to your heart, which I believe will guide you in how you relate to each other.
I help you become more attuned to yourself - and to each other. Together we start to name the feelings underneath the behaviors so that we can identify your emotional needs and learn how to meet them (and communicate them) in new ways.
We give your relationship an opportunity to repair and reconnect so that trust between you can be strengthened. Learning how to repair will also be central to our work as you will not always “get it right” in your new relationship.
I help both of you really see each other. This means unpacking projections and rewriting old narratives. This means seeing your mother as a woman, separate from the lens of your unmet needs. This means seeing your daughter as person separate from you - not as a source for your own needs nor a source of rejection.
I help you be the mother your daughter needs you to be - not by shutting yourself down - but by discovering new ways of being in relationship to her that can actually become easier and more freeing because it centers you and keeps you closer to your own heart.
Understand where each of you get activated or pulled back into old ways of responding and relating - and help you recover more quickly.
Co-create the kind of relationship you both deeply long for.
What beloved clients have shared:
I just wanted to drop you a note to thank you for putting me and my daughter back together again. We have really grown in trust and respect for each other and we couldn’t have done it without you. Because of unforeseen family circumstances, I lived with my daughter and her husband for two months to help them through a difficult time. My daughter and I both thought of you and how thankful we were that you put us back together again so we were able to be there for each other in a very scary time. We just love you.— client
“Your support of us has meant so much to both of us. I honestly could never thank you enough for the gift of relationship you are giving us.” — client
Thank you again for yet another insightful and meaningful session. Each time you bring us to a conversation that needs to happen that moves aside the blocks and brings us closer. — client
“You have been so most impactful in our lives and relationships, I’m forever grateful.” - client
“We are both extremely grateful for your professional and experienced guidance through our emotional minefield. You felt like an invested partner in seeing us into a healthy, trusting and more loving relationship. You were fair, never judgmental, and always supportive to both of us. We just can't say enough good things about our experience working with you.” - client
Your guidance has been so impactful it feels hard to capture in words.
Ok, I have more questions.
Do we have to commit to a full three months?
Not at all. The purpose is to meet weekly and intentionally for 1-3 months. And we meet for 1 or 2 sessions first just to ensure we are a good fit. Every mother-daughter couple are different, and it is hard to assess how long your work will take as it is dependent on how quickly you can facilitate the change you desire.
How much are the sessions?
Sessions are priced at my current hourly rate of $250.
Can sessions be used for individual work?
Absolutely. If one of you needs individual support in the context of our mother/daughter work, you are welcome to use a session for that.
What if we need a week off for vacation or work?
This work is an initial commitment to weekly sessions for at least 1-3 months. However, we are all humans and as such, we will have vacations, work trips, sick days, and other demands of life. If you need to cancel or reschedule a session, we will re-schedule the session at another time within the same month. If necessary, we can meet for an individual session, a mother/daughter session twice in one week, or combine two sessions for an intensive, which would also be quite valuable. As situations or vacations arise, I am here to work with you.
You are perfect for this if you:
Are genuinely curious and ready to learn what is needed to make your relationship feel better to both of you.
Are genuinely ready to listen to one another.
Are genuinely curious and ready to understand each other’s emotional experience - even if it differs from or contradicts your own.
Are genuinely curious and ready to understand yourself more, including understanding your own emotional needs and how to meet them.
Are genuinely invested in growing as a person, in creating a roadmap for emotional empowerment, and generational healing.